Hanya Sebuah Tulisan Dikala Hujan Turun

Di suatu hari hujan di musim semi. Aku terduduk diam menatap dan mengagumi butiran air hujan yang mengalir indah di kaca jendela bus yang sedang kutumpangi. Banyak yang bilang hari hujan membuat suasana hati jadi mellow, haha..mungkin. Tapi, susana hatiku bukan mellow sih, cuma sedikit campur aduk, lebih menagarah ke bahagia sih. Alunan music di iPod-ku juga cukup mengikuti keadaan, seperti ter-shuffle otomatis mengikuti keadaan dan mood. Akhirnya aku sampai di tujuanku. Kulangkahkan kakiku menuju sebuah plaza di tengah kota. Hari ini aku memutuskan untuk berjalan- jalan menikmati hari kebebasanku. Aku berjalan gontai di depan etalase toko. Semerbak berbagai harum perfume bergantian menusuk hidungku. Berjalan di tengah sibuknya kota metro politan adalah hal lainnya yang kusukai, memperhatikan kesibukan dan aktifitas orang- orang membuatku merasa bersyukur aku masih bernafas dan bisa menikmati keindahan dunia ini.

Saat ini adalah saat paling bahagia dalam hidupku, perasaanku terasa sangat lega dan ringan. Aku merasa bisa menggunakan seluruh panca indera ku dengan leluasa. Mendengarkan rintik hujan, melihat indahnya dunia, menghirup udara kehidupan, merasakan tetesan hujan menyentuh kulitku, mengecap nikmatnya kopi, bahkan hatiku juga ikut merasakan kebahagiaan dan keindahan.

Well, aku tidak pernah membayangkan, perasaan lega setelah menyelesaikan study bisa seindah ini, dulu aku tidak merasa selega ini. Bisa jadi karena dulu aku hanyalah seorang anak manja yang hidup dengan gampangnya, dan mungkin kebebasanku kali ini terasa begitu berbeda karena proses yang kujalani tidak bisa dikatakan mulus. Ternyata benar, semakin berat perjuangannya, semakin bermakna dan manis rasanya ketika ia usai :)

Mungkin terkesan muluk-muluk, tapi aku merasa semakin menyukai hidupku, aku tahu apa yang aku inginkan, tentunya aku akan terus menggapai mimpi- mimpiku yang kian hari kian menumpuk, soalnya bermimpi itu hobby-ku sih..menuliskan rencana rencana indah yang membuatku tersenyum bahagia, yang entah kapan bisa kuwujudkan..hahaha.

Aroma kopiku sudah tercium, nah akhirnya dia tiba juga...aku ingin melanjutkan menikmati hari hujan yang indah ini sambil menyeruput kopi panasku dan meresapi kebebasanku..cheers..untuk hari di kala hujan, untuk kebebasan, untuk terus bermimpi, untuk keindahan dunia, untuk kehidupan setiap insan, untuk teman-teman yang selalu ada, untuk kedua orang tua yang kucintai dan selalu mendukungku, dan untuk rasa syukur pada ilahi..

Love

Me

The Limbo is being crowded

I often say that being negative is not my thing, I'am a really optimistic person. But it appears that this blog full of my drama of life!!LOL..anyway, I don't care.. like they said that you need to release your temper or you negativeness (who said that? me!!just now)

So, here's the thing, at the moment i am in that phase of confusion!! like really feel as I am living in a limbo (my fiend told me that limbo being so crowded today). I am saying that I really don't know where I am, what's gonna happen to me? where i'm gonna be? I don't really know what I really want anymore. arrghh.. I don't know, I'm just really really confuse!! actually i do know what I want, but I just don't know if I'll be able to make it or not. I know that I'm thinking and worry too much, which is not necessary at all. But, come on! I'm also a human being, I cannot be positive all the time (a.k.a I need some drama in my life) hahaha...even now i can't really be serious.

Really, I'm confuse.

The last one hour

So.. it's 11:00 pm now, 25th of april 2011.. the last one hour of my 25..then when the date turns into 26th, my age will follow with the same number. Well, actually it's kinda a good turning.. 25th to 26th.. i mean both... date and age, though i don't really like to be older.. but what can i do? tick.. tock..tick..tock.. my clock is ticking!!

Actually, there's one thing that i've been really wanting to write in here since i can't write it anywhere else. so.. as my age's changing its number, i'm gonna move on as well. I know i've been saying this over and over again and never be succeed.. but i think i just need to let it out so i'll let it go!! i need to write it on. it's gonna be a long blog!! and people will get bored to read it! good!! cause i had no intention for people to read this one. i just wanna let it out!!. it's not a drama (though it might sounds like one).

Here's the thing, there is a guy that i met 2 years ago. we met when we were working, as a partner. i swear i had no intention to like this guy, at all!! but since he's a nice person to chat with and i found i had many things in common with him, we get a long quite well, then it turns to a crush. Somehow, he said he likes me..then we decided to kinda date..not really, but anyway.. we called it open relation ship, a short time open relationship. So.. we had a lot of fun.. he's the only person that makes me feel like talking to myself, a male version, i can sat with him without talking, just sipping our coffee.. but i felt good..i had so many things in common with him. but that's it..it's just a crush, nothing serious ( i thought) we called it "a paragraph of our life" cause we were sure that we won't meet again and it's just gonna be a nice memory.

So, it came the time when we had to say good bye, but we didn't. we just said "back to reality, enjoy reality" then he flew to another city before he supposed to go back to his country. Well, after he's gone we still keep in touch, by texting cause he was still in my country. Then i realised that i already got used to with his existence, it felt that something missing without him then i knew that it's more than just a crush, that i think i like him. To make it short, somehow we met again, twice. Once when i went to jakarta for a test, but he was seeing someone at that time and i thought i have to forget him. So i dated someone. My best friend, we sorta had history before..but then i realised, it didn't work.. i still thinking about him.Another time that we met was just before I flew to Sydney, on my transit.. in medan. he was there at the time. doing his research. so.. we went out for a half day only. another short time relationship. i'm pretty sure for him it was just a joke. but anyway.. i had a good time. so i flew.. leaved my country.. i thought i can move on.

So now we move the setting, I'm in sydney. the thing is, with technology it makes it's easier to keep in touch. so we were still talking through skype and phone. I tried to convince myself that it's just something that is not real. so we're just friend. but apparently.. my heart said different things. i keep thinking about this guy. i dated someone.. a nice cute french guy. he's such a nice person and polite. i thought i might be could forget my guy, especially since he didn't really care about me. he replied my email so slow.. i don't even know if he ever like me at all. anyway.. i don't know how it came the time when i told him that i fall for him (which was i know that's a stupid thing to say) by the way.. the french guy left. he had to go back to his country. So..back to my convention, he said that he's attracted to me too but since our circumstances we just could be like this..(i don't even know if he really likes me or he just said that to please me, since we can't be together anyway.. we were separated by ocean and continent) so.. we keep it that way. then i decided to forget him ( again ) so.. i tried not to contact him.. tried everything that i could to forget him.

Then i gotta go back to my country, and I told him that ( we're still keeping touch), we thought we might be able to meet in Bali. but then i got an email from my university that i had to go back to sydney sooner than i expect to, so i had to cancel my bali plan ( I bought the ticket already), so i took it as a sign that we're not meant to be together. so.. again!! i tried to forget him. i sent him a text "goodbye" i bet he's confuse..what good bye?? i think he had no idea how i felt about him and cannot for get him at all.
anyway.. i managed to forget him!! i thought i/m over him.. i felt so relief!! happy!! never thought about him anymore!! moved on!!yay!! (yeah.. you're right that i was wrong)

I forgot how exactly that happen, but i remember him again!! in fact at the time there's a guy that potential to dated, i mean.. i don't know yet.. but he asked me out.. i went out with him a couple of time.. not boy friend yet..but potential to be one, until he suddenly texted me again( I mean this guy that i've been trying to forget). i know i was so weak. one text or email from him, it ruined everything that i've been built. and plus the guy back to his country. he's german by the way.

so.. the points are it's not that i'm not trying to forget him. I am!!many times!! and still..but it just didn't really work. and i don't know how i keep be trapped with the guy that about to leave. most of the time!!

so..there are so many coincidences that happen between me and this guy that makes us keep missing path. i mean many signs that said that i had to forget him that he's not for me. it kinda makes me said "God,  I got it, i got your signs that we're not meant to be, but why you keep sending me the signs again??makes me even harder to forget him"

so.. when i went to NYC, somehow he was in NY, and we didn't meet. we knew that we both in the same city when he about to leave to the airport, in one hour. And now.. he's coming to my hometown for his research. yeah..it my freaking hometown. just a weak before i knew this thing i was looking for tickets to go there but i couldn't get any and finally decided not to go there, then i knew we will be there. again!! another missing path.

wow, i can't believe i spent my last hour of my 25th to write about this guy. well.. i got a decision now tho. I'm gonna put him aside. this time is for real, ima back to the term "if it's meant to be, it meant to be" i admit that i still love him ( i can't believe myself i used this term) anyway.. i don't care.. if we're not meant to be, or if he doesn't love me the way i do, then i'm sure someone else will. it just the matter of time..

so..now.. Happy birthday for me..
and I'll be happy.. I'm gonna take it easy as easy as possible..
enjoying my life (as always) i've got many things to achieve :D

ps: I'm still not over you, but..it won't kill me :) it'll makes me stronger.
pps: it's not a drama blog.. or lebay.. I'm just being honest and let it out so i can let it go :)

CALIFORNIA

Hey there :)

just a quick update, cause i don't have much time right now. I promise I will update this blog in detail though.

So, guess where am I right now? LA!!! :D

yeah.. staying in santa monica, LA - California.

never thought about this place as my travel destination before.

:)

Anyway.. it's a nice place.. I kinda don't ,mind to move and live here (I know.. I always say that about every place that I go) :p

ow!! I'm just gonna update what have been happening now.

so.. I went to melbourne and adelaide just before I flew to LA, then I'll be in San Francisco on the 5th and the 6th of february before head off to NY :)

I'm excited.. especially about seeing snow (hey!! I'm from a tropical country!!never see snow for the whole of my life, that's my defence)

ok.. gotta comeback to my homework

I promise will post you details and photos if I still alive :p

bye for now

NEW HOME :)

Hi..

as I promised you I'm gonna upload my new home photos :)

so.. ready?

well, where should we start?

may be my room

that's my bed and studying area

Photos are always the important parts in my live, so.. got some families and best friends pictures always in the frames..plus.. I'm gonna put some more on my wall :) and my dream board of course :) where I put all of my dream list as well as my reminder notes.

Plus some tiny decorations :)

I love the view from my window..isn;t it pretty? here, look closer :)

Oke, now, should we move to our kitchen?

I love moving to this new place, feels homey :) and I also bought some flowers, put 'em in our bath room.

Now, living room plus dining room

You could see our balcony with a really nice view :)

it's a really cozy place to hang out, and this is the view from the balcony

Well, that's the place, now..are you ready for the tour to the park behind the apartment? it's only 2 minutes walking from home.

From this path you'll go to the waterside park

these are all the view from that park :) pretty good place for running, jogging, picnic, or just reading in the arvo

well, the tour's finished..I'm gonna go to bed now..it's 1.43 am already.. nite :)

FINALLY !! I CAN TELL YOU :D YAY!!!

Hey!!

I've been wanting to tell me since a month ago, but I couldn't because I didn't get the Visa yet,

Yes Visa!! ;D guess where.. to the State!! yay!!

you know that I've been wanted to go to new york since forever. and know finally i got a chance.

:D

SO, here's the thing :)

A few months a go I got an email from uni that said that they have a selection for an elective to LA

a trip to LA and a workshop at Frank Gehry Office!! OMG!! I know...Gehry!!!

so.... I just applied it, I knew that it's gonna be so competitive!!

but I applied it anyway, nothing's to lose I thought!!

so.. with my stupid pert folio, motivation letter and my transcript, I submitted my application:)

then... about three weeks later I got an email said that I got it!!

I got one of the place for 20 :)

yay!!!!

So.. I bought a return ticket to LA, then I applied for my visa

I was so affraid cuz.."what if i don't get the visa??" then I'm gonna lost my $1300 for my nonrefundable ticket.

but today!! i got my passport back, and so did the visa!! Yay!!

so...I"m excited now!!

the plan is I'm gonna be in LA for 2 weeks, then go to San Francisco for a few days

then hit NYC!!! :D I'm gonna meet my best friend right there :)

it's been a while I haven't met her, since she moved to NY and I'm in Sydney.

but soon.. we're gonna have a reunion..inshaallah :)

well, wish me luck ;)

ps: I'm using the picture from google now, but I promise i will get my own pictures when I get there ;)

JACK JOHNSON CONCERT!! YAY!!

Look!!! I'm on Jack Johnson concert!! with T-shirt :p

OMG!!! lol...I was so happy..

the euphoria because of the jack johnson concert is still here.

well, remember how excited was me when i bought the ticket for his concert?

it was on june.. yeah and finally i went to the concert yesterday, nope!! actually, 2 days ago.

so.. i ended up going there by myself and met one of my friend right there plus i also met a new friends who's also a big fan of jack johnson.

so Ima post some photos of the concert.

check 'em out!!

That's how it looks when i arrived there, everyone's waiting for the concert and chillin' (seriously?? that's a hot day for chillin' :p

Official merchandise!! yeah!! I've got me one!! and it was $40 for that t-shirt!! shoooot!! it it's not jack's, I wont buy a t-shirt for that price.

Yeah!! that's the one that i chose

The other stuff that I bought just that potatoes and a bottle of water (i'm brooke man...)

yay!!! I finally reached the front row (well, not really front though.. but it's not too bad)

A photo of me in front of the stage?? it's a must..lol

sit and waiting (like his song) and while waiting n sitting i took a photo of these feet :)

and the concert started, first song was Taylor

Better together was the last song..and it was a good ending

and the concert finished :D